Judas Zee Read a Book! (Yes, Really) – And Now Jonah is Terrified

Alright, folks. I, Judas Zee, did the unthinkable.

I read a book.

But not just any book. Oh no. I read a book about blowing stuff up.

This book right here.

Yes, the actual U.S. Army Explosives and Demolition Handbook. A book written by professionals. A book filled with detailed, responsible, totally lawful instructions on how to turn things into tiny, flaming, glorious pieces.

And now? Jonah is terrified.

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What I Learned From This Book (And How I Immediately Used It in Ways the Government Would Not Approve Of)

✔ How to Make Things Go Boom (the Right Way)
Before, I was just winging it. A little dynamite here, some improvised fireworks there.
But now? Now I know the science.

• Blast radius calculations? Check.
• Best ways to structure a controlled explosion? Got it.
• Proper placement of charges for maximum zombie eradication? Oh baby, we are in business.

✔ Zombies Do NOT React Well to Controlled Demolitions
Turns out, explosives are really effective at crowd control.

• Had a horde blocking our escape?
• Dropped a well-placed charge on a collapsing overpass?
• BOOM. Problem solved.

(Also, problem slightly made worse because flaming zombie chunks rained down on us, but we don’t talk about that.)

✔ Jonah Might Disown Me Now
Jonah walked in right as I was setting up a “small” test explosion in an abandoned parking lot.

• First, he screamed.
• Then, he tried to take the book away.
• Then, he locked up all our remaining C4.

So yeah, he’s officially lost trust in me. (As if he ever had much to begin with.)

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Other Practical Uses for This Book (Besides Zombie Extermination, Obviously)

✔ Breaking into abandoned bunkers that have loot. (Legally questionable, but effective!)
✔ Convincing people to “reconsider” their bad life choices. (Hypothetically, of course.)
✔ Fixing the truck. (Okay, this one was a mistake. We don’t talk about the Sasha Incident.)
✔ Creating a “safe” perimeter around camp. (Jonah disagrees on the “safe” part. I stand by my work.)

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BUY THIS BOOK (Before Jonah Burns My Copy)

Yes, this page contains affiliate links, which means when you buy this book, you’re not just getting a top-tier guide to blowing things up—you’re also helping me buy JJ something cute.

(Or at least something that won’t make her yell at me. Fingers crossed.)

👉 Click here to grab your copy NOW!

Oh, and if you want more totally safe, completely responsible recommendations from me (ha), be sure to subscribe to the blog.

Because what’s life without a little fire and danger?

Judas Zee, Signing Off.

(Professional Zombie Exterminator, Amateur Demolition Expert, and Jonah’s Newest Stress Ulcer)